How Do Parents Experience The Transition To Adolescence?

The transition to adolescence is undoubtedly a difficult period for children. They are halfway between childhood and the building of an increasingly mature and independent identity. However, this process can also be complicated for parents, who in this situation need to know how to adapt to the changes in order to support their children in the best possible way.

Parents often experience doubt, fear and on many occasions a desire to stop time. Nostalgia and insecurity are emotions that they will often experience with when their little ones enter puberty.

However, this can also be one of the most special stages of growing up. It can also be a period when the emotional bonds between parents and children are strengthened, if you are able to handle difficulties in a functioning way.

How do I handle the transition to adolescence?

Respect their progressive independence

During puberty, young people begin to demand greater independence and integrity. It can start with the fact that they want to close the door to their room, and that they may not be as open to their parents as before, or as affectionate as they were before.

It is also at this stage that the first simple plans with friends begin to emerge, without so much adult supervision or commitment. The group of friends takes a leading role and the family becomes less important. As a parent, you should try to understand this need for progressive independence and set boundaries without overprotecting them.

Respect the important role that their friends now play and the importance of social life in your children’s daily lives. But remember that they still need you for their development. Even if they do not hug you as much as before, they still need and value your affection.

Accept the new creature that appears

During the transition to adolescence, it is common for young people to begin to develop their own personality and identity. They begin to define their tastes, preferences and opinions. Their character changes and matures as they go along. During this process, many parents may at the same time feel that they are losing the child they once had.

It is common to feel the longing for the sweet, loving and obedient little kid that your child always was. At first, it may be difficult to understand and accept your teen’s new opinions. It can feel like a challenge to start seeing her or him as a more mature individual. However, it is important to unconditionally accept this new being, with all the personal qualities he or she has.

Try to respect the attitude that your children want to show, the clothes they like to wear, the music they want to listen to and the friends they want to share their time with. Of course, always make sure that none of this harms their health or privacy. Instead of longing for the little children they once were, just let yourself be surprised and delighted by the magnificent people they are becoming.

Determination of values

At this stage of life, one should expect the children to want to become more and more independent. It is positive that they can take responsibility in accordance with their abilities and make their own decisions.

The relationship between parent and child will no longer be based solely on the former setting the guidelines and the latter having to follow them. Now it becomes important that they can both negotiate with each other. But to succeed in this, it is necessary for the children to be able to show that they are responsible and reliable.

It is not a good idea or effective to restrict teenagers and try to maintain the same rules and conditions as during childhood. But it is important to convey to them that we trust them and expect them to act honestly and responsibly.

Continue to be a guide during the transition to adolescence

Finally, the most important thing at this stage is to find a balance that allows us to give our children space, but without distancing ourselves from them. No matter how much they try to be adults, mature and independent, they still need you, maybe more than ever. Your support, your guidance and your unconditional love are important in this difficult transition.

For the same reason, do not be afraid, you have not lost your little kid. Do not hesitate, your child still loves you and needs you. Just learn to let life flow, and to find the beauty in every step of your teen’s growth. Instead of thinking that they are getting further away from you for every step they take; Adopt an attitude of pride over their progress, for you will always be a fundamental pillar of their lives.