The Desire To Become A Parent – Where Does It Come From?

The desire to become a parent can strike at any time during a person’s life and for several different reasons. Many of these motives are valid, but some of them are not.

Becoming a parent can either be planned or come as a surprise. In both cases, it is important for the couple to agree on certain aspects of the decisions they will make in the future.

Ideally, a child should be born as a result of an agreement between both parties in a couple. This guarantees security and stability for the future child.

It is also an important factor in parents’ peace of mind. Deciding to become a parent is a decision that will change a couple’s dynamics forever.

This question can be problematic if the desire to become a parent is not genuine. In some parts of the world, some people see children as a means of achieving something instead of achieving it themselves.

If a child is born under these conditions, many difficulties can arise that affect all members of the new family.

Where will the desire to become a parent come from?

A few decades ago, the decision to have a child was not a problem that needed to be analyzed. Becoming a parent was a matter of course in a stable relationship.

Propagation was seen as inevitable. Nowadays, advanced contraception has revolutionized parenting.

There is now freedom to make decisions. It is the couple who decides when it is time to let a new person come.

This decision is ideally made when the couple has determined that they want to move on to the next level. They decide to build a family and organize a life project around it.

Sometimes the decision to become a parent can be made on bad grounds. This happens when people who have no real desire to become parents are too much influenced by factors such as religion and traditions.

They decide to become parents out of duty or guilt. A child requires a lot of effort and commitment that can only be accepted in a healthy way when they are the result of a conscious desire.

Some couples who go through problems sometimes think that a child will help hold them together and make them well again. This is a reverse way of thinking. In such cases, the arrival of a new baby often ends with breaking up what was already broken.

There are some exceptions. Sometimes there is no real desire to become a parent, but over time, the desire will arise.

Aspects to consider

The desire to become a parent in itself is not enough. Having a child involves many drastic changes and adjustments. Therefore, it is important to make an honest assessment together as a couple.

The couple must decide whether they are ready to take on this great responsibility.

The most important aspects to consider are the following:

• The decision should be made as a couple. This topic should be talked about honestly and clearly. All members of the family should know what they expect from the others.
• Think about the practical aspects. It is important to evaluate whether you as a couple have enough time for parenting. It is also important to take into account the financial and emotional situation. The couple must make a decision together on which parenting style is appropriate.
• The couple must be ready for a change in their routines. The couple must understand how to deal with the changes that will occur. A child means a complete change in routines. Is the couple ready to take on this profound transformation?

• Commitment. Both parties must be involved in the decision. It is important that both openly communicate what they are willing to contribute and what they can not imagine.

When one person does not want children

This happens quite often. One of the parties wants a child and the other does not. In such cases, the desire to become a parent is not shared, so one must give in.

In this type of situation, a dialogue is a must. It is important that both parties are willing to listen to the other.

There is no room for prejudice, pressure or anger. All parties should preferably be able to express themselves freely.

Sometimes, when someone does not want to become a parent, it is due to practical reasons, such as the person’s financial situation. If so, it is important for the couple to look for positive ways to find a solution.

There are also cases where a partner is deeply opposed to taking on the role of a father or mother. In this case, both parties must consider whether it is valid to continue as a couple.