Why Not Talk Bad About Your Children’s Father

Divorce is not the only time when one parent may speak ill of the other. In fact, it can also happen if a parent is not in the child’s life, or even if the couple is still together. But if you talk badly about your children’s father, it can actually hurt them. That’s why you should avoid it at all costs.

If you feel that your partner is treating you badly in some way, it is normal to feel an uncontrollable desire to express your anger. But do not involve your children in it. Your priority should always be to protect them and keep them as healthy as possible.

Love and be loved

For children, the family is the center of their whole world. Mom and Dad are the only ones they have to turn to, their safety nets. Through the love and trust they give, children shape their personality and open up to the world.

Children need to be able to love without feeling guilty. In addition, they must be unconditionally loved by their parents in order to develop emotionally. The family is their safe and happy place, which gives them confidence and encouragement to explore new places.

It is a stable place for recovery, and gives firm roots that allow them to grow without fear. The family is so important that we must do everything in our power to make it harmonious and happy.

Let your children love their father, even if you no longer do

Circumstances are not always perfect. Maybe the father was never in the picture, or you may have been through a divorce. Even if you are still together, conflicts and quarrels can arise that can affect your relationship.

All these circumstances are a part of life. As adults, we must meet them in the best possible way. However, it is clear that it should never affect the well-being of your children. If you can, try to avoid it. Obviously, it will affect your children’s lives, but it can have different effects depending on how the adults around them act.

Maybe your children’s father (or mother) did not behave well, or maybe he hurt you or betrayed you. You may also have made mistakes as a parent. It is perfectly normal for you to feel angry or resentful.

But you have to go through your own emotional process to be able to forgive. Your highest priority should be to protect your children. This includes protecting their image of their father and the bonds he has with his children. Children need to be able to love their father and feel loved by him. They need it as much as they need it from you.

What happens when you speak ill of your children’s father?

When you speak ill of your children’s father, you are stealing an important part of the children’s development. When you tell them that their father is gone because he does not care, or that he does not want to spend time with them, the children do not understand that it is not their fault. They think it’s their fault. Your children will feel that they are not enough, that they are not good enough and that they do not deserve love.

When you say “You are just like your father” or “Your father is irresponsible and selfish”,  you put them in a very difficult position. They will feel compelled to choose sides, and will feel guilty for loving their father. In fact, they will feel a big gap in their small world. They will no longer feel stability and harmony, but hatred and confusion.

You may think that your children need to know what their father is like and that you should not lie to them. Therefore, you think they have the right to know the truth. But in reality, their right to be children is. They have the right to feel loved and safe, and not have to face adult situations. As they grow up, they will know, understand and reorganize what they went through from a different perspective. Let them grow now.