Having Siblings With Special Needs

Having siblings with special needs does not have to completely change a family’s daily life, but the family may need to adjust certain routines and add brand new ones. This is why you may experience certain emotions that are difficult to understand.

How can you, as siblings, feel?

There are many worries and frustrations you can feel if you have a sibling with special needs. Maybe you will recognize some of these:

Fear and anxiety

It can be difficult to understand why your siblings are different. This is normal. The important thing is to understand that different does not mean bad. We are all unique and special in our own way.

Maybe your fear or anxiety has nothing to do with you, but rather with your siblings. You may be afraid of what will happen to your siblings in the future. If your sibling has health complications that mean he or she often has to stay in the hospital, you may have to worry about it on a daily basis.

Feelings of guilt

You may think you are responsible for your sibling’s problem. These feelings can arise during early childhood and even later in adulthood – especially when it is time for you to move away from home and your parents are left to take care of him or her.

It is normal for you to live your own life. That does not mean you love them less or that you are a bad sibling. Always support your brother or sister and help when you can.

Feelings like isolation, loss and loneliness

These feelings can be motivated by a desire for attention from your parents, because they have to devote so much time to your siblings who have special needs.

It is important to find a balance so that you can sometimes be alone with those you are too. Every child is unique and needs time and attention from their parents.

You are ashamed of your family

You may find that your family looks so different from everyone else because you have different activities and routines. But no two families are really alike! Do not be ashamed of your family, they are the most valuable thing you have.

This can also be more noticeable if you feel that you are in a difficult situation when you have to answer questions from your classmates or teachers about your siblings. Just talk naturally and show that you are not ashamed of your family.

You are forced to mature early

You may have to mature so badly earlier than others because of what you experience at home every day.

Maybe one of your parents is often gone. Frequent hospital visits or periods of stress or anxiety can help you see the future with more perspective and learn how to respond better to different events.

My siblings have special needs. What can I do?

The following suggestions will help you deal with it in a positive way:

The role of your parents

In general, your parents’ time will be dominated by the child with special needs, and it may seem that they do not have time to pay attention to their other children.

Take advantage of every opportunity you have to spend time with your parents, even if the hours are short. Understand that it depends on the circumstances – they do not do it on purpose or because they love you less. You may understand more in the future.

Communication

Talk to your parents or another adult you trust about how your home life affects you. Dare to put into words your doubts, fears and feelings. It can help you feel better. In addition, they then know how they can support you and you can reach a solution together.

Learn more about your sibling’s condition

Knowing all about your sibling’s condition can help you better understand his or her situation and develop a greater understanding and empathy. As you grow older, you will have more and more opportunities to help them.

Spend quality time with your siblings

You will find that it is a great opportunity to connect with your family. Although you may not be able to relate directly to your sibling, the fact that you are present will make him or her feel good and significant.

Pay attention to decisions that affect your siblings

If you are involved in decisions you make as a family about your siblings, you need to be attentive and committed. It helps you feel valuable. You see that you contribute to your sibling’s well-being.

Benefits of having siblings with special needs

Studies conducted by therapists have shown that children who have siblings with functional diversity gain many valuable experiences from growing up with their sibling or siblings.

It may have brought the family closer together and helped family members develop special virtues and values, such as empathy, an ability to listen, or early maturity.

So if you have a sibling with special needs, do not see it as something negative. Have a positive attitude and try to see that it is not necessarily a problem. All people are unique and that is something we should celebrate!