Always Say Goodbye To Your Children Before You Leave Home

Have you ever thought about why it is so important to say goodbye to your children before you leave home? Many parents make sure that someone else in the home distracts the child so that they can sneak out of the house as quickly as possible before the child notices it. However, this is not a good way to leave home. In fact, it can even be harmful to your toddler.

Why are we doing this? The reason is very logical. When your child sees that you are going to leave, he starts crying in despair because he wants you to stop. Of course, this makes it much harder for you to leave home.

Of course, the fact that you say goodbye at first will not change this fact, but it does entail certain positive aspects which we will explain in detail in the following paragraphs.

Why you should say goodbye to your children before you leave home

The separation between parents and toddlers is always difficult. The bonds that unite them are so strong that a few hours apart can create grief not only in the children but also in the parents.

However, there is one factor that clearly distinguishes children’s behavior from that of adults. And it is that little ones can not contain their emotions or channel their grief or anxiety, which adults can. So what do they do? They start crying all they can.

It is natural that you as a parent find it very difficult to see your child in such a state. And this is what leads us, when it’s time to leave home, even if it’s only for a few hours, to choose the option that seems most appropriate – ie. to sneak away as quickly as possible so that the child does not have time to notice it.

But what many parents do not think about is that even though they may avoid making the child start crying, they still experience the parent’s absence. This can create a situation where the child is seized by a feeling of abandonment. This in turn can turn into a greater dependence on the parents.

The negative consequences of a parent sneaking out

As we discussed in the previous section, the bond between parents and children in the first period of life is very strong. The strongest reference for young children when it comes to guidance, protection and love is their parents.

Therefore, when the little ones are separated from their parents, they really lack their presence. Even if they are taken care of by daycare staff, siblings or relatives, they may feel insecure because their main references are no longer with them.

Children at this early age do not have the ability to understand the reason for the parents’ sudden absence. What specialists claim is that this evokes feelings of abandonment, anxiety, anger and insecurity.

These negative emotions only become more and more consolidated over time. When the parents return, the child will also become more clingy and dependent on them. The explanation is that information has been etched in their memory that tells them that there is a constant risk that they will be abandoned by their parents when they least expect it.

What to do instead?

Then the next question is – what do you do instead? It is clear that you as a parent do not want to see your child cry. But there are two aspects to consider. The first is that children cry because it is their only way to communicate – and it is very effective. At the same time, crying can effectively release stress and tension.

When your child cries, it communicates that it feels sad that you should be gone. But when you say goodbye before you go, it will eventually learn that your goodbye means that you should only go away for a while. They will also learn that it does not mean you abandon them.

It may seem like an invention, but psychologists believe that we should not underestimate our children’s ability to understand. Therefore, teach them to say “hello” and “goodbye”, and what the meaning of the words is.

It is also a good idea to play games that hide with them. It is an effective and fun way to teach them to understand that absence is not synonymous with abandonment, but just another activity in daily life.

Finally, as a parent, you should remember that when you say goodbye to your children before you leave home, you will help them better understand your environment and surroundings. In the long run, this will also help them create a balanced emotional health.