Separation Anxiety In Childhood

Separation anxiety in childhood is very common, and you can even say that it is “mandatory”. It is an exaggerated connection to the mother. It can prevent the child from forming relationships with other children or be able to take part in activities with other family members fully.
Separation anxiety in childhood

Separation anxiety in childhood can be difficult, but you need to act in a way that encourages your children to interact with other people. In this article, we will talk about this common behavior.

Being alone with your mother can be valuable, but also a problem. This is especially difficult when she needs to return to her daily routine and work.

What is separation anxiety in childhood?

Separation anxiety can develop when children have too close a connection to their mother.

In addition, this behavior is accompanied by crying, outbursts of rage and a refusal to be with other people. It may even make them not want their mother to be away even for a few minutes.

When they are little, they just want to be in their mother’s arms. When they are a little older, they say “mom” before another word. Later, when they have grown even older, they add, “I want a mother!”

This excessive attachment and constant complaining can cause problems. The mother must be 100% focused on her child and no one else can do anything for them.

It is true that children trust their mother in wet and dry. She is the main supplier, both for food and nursing. Then it is normal to choose your mother over other family members and friends.

But as children get older, uncles, grandparents and siblings can also help. For example, changing diapers, bathing them, putting them to bed or playing with them.

What happens when the mother always has to do all these things, otherwise they cry desperately? That’s when we start talking about separation anxiety.

It’s an exaggerated connection. It can also prevent children from wanting to go through changes that make them more independent.

Causes and symptoms of separation anxiety

Many people believe that separation anxiety in childhood is due to the mother not “freeing herself” enough. They say that the mother has not allowed the father to take care of the child much enough.

However, that is not the case. There are many other factors that affect, for example:

Anxiety about learning new things

Every time the child learns something important, he experiences frustration, such as walking alone or talking. He wants to be with his mother, who calms him down and makes him feel safe.

mother and daughter hugging

2. A perception of the surroundings

Up to 10 months, children are not aware of what is happening around them. But they recognize familiar people. When children see that they are leaving them, they cry because they think they will not return.

Big changes

We refer to changes not only internally but also changes in daily life. Some of these can be starting preschool, moving, going on a trip or a family member dying. These are all reasons why the child feels insecure.

4. The Oedipus Complex

Separation anxiety in the mother is also related to what in psychology is called the “Oedipus complex”. This Freudian theory says that the child is in love with his mother. He sees his father as an enemy and competitor.

When it comes to girls, it is “Electrakomplex” where she adores her father and is constantly in conflict with her mother.

How to identify separation anxiety in childhood

How can you tell if your child has separation anxiety? It is easy. Habits and behaviors are usually obvious and immediate.

  • Calling you every two minutes and screaming at night.
  • Just want mom to feed him, dress him, play with him and put him to bed.
  • Screams when he does not see his mother.
  • Hanging on your arms or legs when you do something else. For example, when trying to cook or work.
  • Does not want to interact with other children if her mother does not also play with.
  • Shows excessive jealousy if you pay attention to another child.
boy crying in his mother's lap

Is it possible to do something about separation anxiety in childhood? The first thing you should identify is what he is trying to tell with his behavior. In most cases, it is something transient, which you can overcome by being patient.

Ultimately, remember that you are the one who decides how things should go in your house. You should not leave your work or personal well-being aside to make your child stop crying.

A little at a time, he will calm down. Eventually he accepts that he has to let Grandma or Dad take care of him.

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