The Consequences Of Sleeping Together

Here we will look at what it means to share a bed with your baby, and the consequences of sleeping together on the relationship with your partner.

From the first moment we hold the baby in our arms, we do not want to be separated from it, not even for a second.

Without a second thought, we devote all our attention, energy and time to our child. We forget other things like the career and our role as sister or aunt – and often also our role as partner. But is it right to leave our partner at the sidelines?

The concept of attachment parenting, which can also be called “close parenting”, is becoming more common in the western world. It has to do with the bond between mother and child, and encourages one to show unconditional love by thinking about the child’s mental and physical needs.

The term was coined by William and Martha Sears, a pediatrician and nurse, who published a series of books emphasizing the benefits of parenting based on strengthening the emotional bonds with our children.

Those who support the idea of ​​close parenting insist that mothers must devote themselves to their children with body and soul. But of course we do not need to be told that we should give our children love and attention.

We can see what impact the idea has had with something called the kangaroo method, where parents carry their children instead of using the stroller.

Close parenting means that both the mother and the father are involved in raising the child, but the greatest influence from the idea has perhaps been seen in the growing popularity of sleeping with their child.

We know the benefits of close parenting, but mom and dad must also be able to spend time alone together.

What are the consequences of sleeping together?

Given the roller coaster of emotions that a mother experiences after giving birth, her libido probably declines sharply during the six-week period that follows. She may then not think as much about her relationship with her partner.

Taking care of a child takes up most of the couple’s time, both night and day. There is no time left for anything else.

A few weeks after giving birth, you may begin to feel that your libido is returning. And then you and your partner can start being intimate again.

But with a child in bed, it can be difficult to rebuild the relationship.

Sleeping with the baby or having the sleeper in the room should therefore be a decision that you both make together.

If one of you does not agree that “attachment parenting” feels right at the moment, it is best to wait a while. It is important that mom and dad have some privacy in the bed they share.

The important thing is not to envy the relationship

If you and your partner choose to welcome the child into your bed, you can avoid the potentially negative consequences of sleeping together by trying to renew the relationship in other ways:

• Intimacy is not limited to the bedroom. There are other ways to strengthen the bond between you during the day.
• Make sure you discuss it during dinner, or while you are cleaning. It is important that you show interest in each other to keep the relationship alive after the birth.
• Turn off the TV and share a glass of wine or a cocktail. If you are breastfeeding, you should avoid alcohol, but a non-alcoholic cocktail for you and a glass of wine for him is great for a romantic evening, after the baby has fallen asleep.

• Share activities whenever you can. It is good to take a bath together after a long day. A massage or just reading the magazine together are simple gestures that strengthen the relationship.
• Keep dating each other. There is no reason not to go hand in hand with each other or buy flowers.
• A marriage or child does not have to mean the end of the romance, nor does it have to change the way you treat each other.

Starting a family can be a challenge. By bringing a child into the world, we take on a great responsibility to take care of them and raise them as best we can. But they cannot be the center of the universe.

It is sometimes good to seek comfort in your partner’s arms. There you will always find peace and love, and that is something you need to feel like yourself again.