Too Strict Parents: Problems And Consequences

Maybe you had strict parents as a child? We all know that raising children is not easy, but if the parents are too strict, it can cause a lot of problems.

Many parents today are criticized for being too permissive, but  demanding too much from their children is also harmful. Some parents place too many demands on their children to be obedient, polite, smart, successful… in other words, perfect.

There are countless examples of how overly strict parents treat their children. If their child, for example, gets a B in a grade on a test and the parents immediately punish her so that she will do better next time. When she then gets an A- on her next test, her parents are dissatisfied with her because she did not get an A.

Why does it happen?

Mothers and fathers who are too strict and demanding of their children exercise what is known as authoritative parenting. They tend to be inflexible in their expectations. They often feel the need to control all aspects of their children’s lives to make sure they are achieving their goals.

A possible solution

A healthier approach would be for parents and children to agree on what the expectations are. This often results in a more positive result. It is about staying away from excessive demands.

In addition, when parents are constantly reminding and nagging their children about everything they need to do, it can cultivate a certain degree of dependence and helplessness in the child.

As adults, these children tend to lack basic life skills and independence. They do not know how to make decisions on their own, and it affects them in their daily lives. With so many demands and their own inability to meet them, these children become very insecure and insecure.

The consequences of having overly strict parents

Children who are overly strict parents can show the following characteristics:

Perfectionism

It depends on the character of the parents, and the personality and capacity of the individual child. Some children decide to try to meet their parents’ expectations and succeed by maintaining a perfectionist performance.

If so, these children often develop a personality similar to that of their parents. In other words, these children also become demanding and in many cases the perfectionists themselves. They strive to achieve the same level of achievement that their parents impose on them.

Uncertainty

In many cases, parents make demands on their children that are too high. When the child fails to meet these expectations, he or she becomes frustrated, rebellious or paralyzed. It gives rise to insecurity, addiction, low self-esteem and a prerequisite for anxiety and depression in adulthood.

What do the experts have to say?

Specialists in the field claim that it is a common issue among parents, especially for those with an academic background. In today’s society, most parents want their children to get a good education, be competitive and excel in their studies.

However, parents often make these demands without knowing whether their children have the conditions to meet them. There are also cases where parents create expectations without even asking themselves what their children really want in this life.

Of course, there are many parents who are not only too strict and controlling when it comes to academics . They are also extremely demanding in matters such as doing household chores, being successful in sports, fulfilling family commitments, etc.

Advice for achieving a peaceful relationship between parents and children

An abundance of demands creates anxiety and stress in children. When they get up in university, or maybe already in high school, they may lose their commitment and their will to continue. This will of course lead to their grades dropping.

Some teens may even decide to drop out of school altogether because they are tired of the big press.

On the other hand, parents who place excessive demands on their children without taking into account their own desires can actually hamper their emotional development.

Below is a list of tips to help you avoid being too strict with your children:

• Spend quality time with your children and talk to them about their day and life.
• Find out what your children’s interests are, what their hobbies are, what their favorite sport is, what music they listen to, etc.

• Encourage and motivate your child as needed.
• If your child does not have a goal, help them by guiding them to find one.
• Show affection and love.
• Congratulations to your children when they succeed. If they encounter difficulties, encourage them to keep trying.

Over time, you will see that your attempts to control your child’s life will not always give you the results you are striving for. Usually, love and affection are the best way to raise happy and successful children.