What Tone Should You Use When Disciplining Your Children?

It is very important that parents control how they talk when disciplining their children. So what tone should you use, and how should you use it?

There are many parents who, when disciplining their children, speak with a loud voice. Sometimes they scream, and sometimes they can even become aggressive. This is never a sign of good parenting. Screaming is not something that raises children, but rather creates fear and annoyance. But what is the right tone to use when correcting our children?

A more empathetic, understanding and caring tone is much more effective in disciplining children. The key is to be genuine. In other words, be completely sincere and use a calm tone. If your voice is full of anger, your children will notice it, and your words will not be as effective.

Discipline is complicated

Discipline is one of the most complicated parts of raising children. Especially since we do not want our children to feel bad, but at the same time they have to learn certain things. Sometimes parents are too permissive simply because they want to protect their children from negative emotions. But it does the children no favors, but rather the opposite.

Children who grow up without a concrete discipline structure, or without a consistent upbringing, become less equipped to handle adult life. Parents must create a predictable structure for their children, which contains rules and boundaries. In this way, the children know what is expected of them at any given time.

Your tone matters

Many parents believe that they have to use a loud voice to discipline their children. Some even believe that they have to shout at their children to correct their behavior. But nothing could be further from the truth. Screams and verbal abuse are in no way good for disciplining them.

Keep in mind that discipline has to do with teaching. If you scream or talk aggressively with your children, you will hinder their ability to learn. They then feel bad emotionally, and it blocks all kinds of learning.

If you place an order with an aggressive tone, children’s brains automatically go into combat or flight mode. This makes them very reluctant to cooperate. In addition, they become emotionally angry with their parents for not being more empathetic.

Show more empathy when disciplining your children

Parents suffer when their children suffer, but that does not mean we should throw our rules out the window. Being too permissive only hurts in the long run. Instead, try to talk to your children in a calm and empathetic tone about the consequences of their actions; it is always a good starting point for effective discipline.

Use a tone that is calm and that comes from your heart, and try to understand your children rather than attack. Then your children feel accepted and they know that you love them even when you correct them, because that is your role as a parent.

There is no need to shout. The world is tough enough and children’s homes need to be a place that offers not only physical protection but also emotional protection. Let your children face the established and natural consequences of their actions. But at the same time make sure to be there to offer your support.

Many times the consequences speak for themselves. But you, as a mother or father, should remain true to your boundaries when talking to your children in a calm, loving and above all empathetic voice.

What to do if you feel that you are always shouting at your children

Maybe you have already developed a habit of shouting at your children and talking to them in an unfriendly way. You may have grown up with this type of upbringing and think it’s the only way to get your children to obey you. And when you talk to them calmly, they may seem to be ignoring you.

First, you need to understand that if you are always screaming, you will always need to keep screaming. This is because your children get used to you screaming all the time. They then think that they do not need to take you seriously if you do not get angry and raise your voice. It will be a vicious circle.

Avoid using an aggressive tone

Using an aggressive tone can give short-term results, but it fails in the long run. Screaming is not something that educates children. If you scream too often, you will only ruin your relationship with your children. And as they get older, if you want them to trust you, you need to maintain good communication with them. Therefore, early in their childhood, you should consider using a calm tone when disciplining your children.

You should only raise your voice in real emergencies. In other words, the times when there is a safety risk and you need to pay attention to your children as soon as possible to avoid harm to themselves or others. Once the danger has been averted, you should return to your calm tone.