When What We Do During Parental Leave Is Not Appreciated

Believe it or not, but there are many partners and individuals who do not value the task of raising children and the importance of parental leave. The first few months take their toll physically and mentally, and can be much more exhausting than an 8-hour workday.

It is clear that the choice to stay at home for a few years to raise a child is a decision that can be made by both mothers and fathers. However, there is something that needs to be clarified: even though you do not work, the task is just as important.

By the end of the day, one is exhausted, and fatigue is justified.

It is important to understand that a couple is a team. If the mother or father feels lonely or misunderstood while taking care of the child and the partner goes to work, it will take its toll on the relationship.

When our partners do not value the work we do during parental leave

There are fantastic and exceptional partners with whom it is easy to live a harmonious life. A perfect symphony where there are no reproaches. Where classic phrases like “I help my wife” and “I give my husband a helping hand” do not exist.

No one helps anyone because there is an implicit idea that a family is a joint project. A project where effort and dedication are combined.

This pact has already been made, and if one of the members decides to use the parental leave to stay at home and raise the children, the other person should shoulder his role and respect the partner’s work.

But there are many couples who do not experience this reality. They are mostly women – and some men – who hang out 24 hours a day to take care of their newborns. They feel misunderstood and underestimated by their partners.

“My mother raised five children and never complained”, “but the only thing a baby does is eat and sleep, you can not complain”, “you spend a whole day sitting down while I am on my feet and working all day. ”

It is phrases that hurt. Sentences like these can destroy and cause a lot of harm, so much so that it affects the upbringing of the children. A sad mother or father cannot give the best of himself to his children, and that must be taken into account.

When the mother or father feels “trapped”

When they get home and dinner is still not finished. The clothes are not washed and the house is not clean, and they ask ” but how busy have you been during the day?”

It is possible that our partners only notice such things, while we focus on the baby now sleeping peacefully, and feeling happy and loved.

• If the attitude is repeated every day , the parent on parental leave can begin to feel very limited and even trapped. The parent feels that the beautiful task of raising the child is not valued. Because the person he or she loves the most, his or her partner, does not appreciate the hard work.
• The hyper-vigilance we experience during the first months and years raises our stress levels. We are afraid of falls, we are afraid that the baby does not eat enough, that it does not sleep as it should. We anticipate risks and constantly monitor it.
• If, in addition, we are accused by our partner of neglecting household chores or being criticized for being tired, then something is wrong. He or she does not value us. We do not get any respect, and that must change in some way.

I’m home, but my work is just as important

In some cases, the couple will come to an agreement: I will take parental leave and you will work. One partner is responsible for the finances of the home while the other takes on an equally important task; to educate, educate, care for and give affection to the new life which in turn shapes the couple’s roots.

Therefore, it is important that we have the following in mind:

• Raising a child is not just a job; it’s a part of life. It is a job that requires 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
• To have a child is to invest time, love and devotion. If there is no reciprocity between the couple, the project will not be able to be maintained. You will not be able to offer the quality of life that is best for your children.
• Taking care of the home comes second. One’s priority should always be the baby. If your partner comes home and sees that the clothes have not been ironed, it does not mean that you “have not done anything all day”.

A mother or father has every right in the world to say that they are tired. They have the same rights as a person who has worked all day. The fact that they say they are tired does not mean that they love their children less. They just want to get out, and of course they deserve their partner’s understanding.